


Robot Loves Internet

by bonjourtristesse



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Robot Feels, Robot/Human Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:12:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonjourtristesse/pseuds/bonjourtristesse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is an insecure robot boy. Phil is the very kind human who cares for him. </p><p>One day they may even admit that they're in love.</p><p>(A collection of robot!Dan and human!Phil AU short stories)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2009 Phan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which robot!Dan has a crush on AmazingPhil and meets him in person for the first time.

Dan had always been afraid of turning out the lights and turning off.

He’d watch Adrian perform his nightly ablutions, yawningly browse his phone in the dark, and eventually nod off as if overcome by some greater force. The rise and fall of the blankets covering his body, the warm huffing of the family dog curled up and dreaming nearby. Trusting, fearless, and alive - while next to them, Dan felt the onset of sleep like a cold paralysis.

He’d run out of power eventually, of course, and the idea of shutting down unawares, mid-action or mid-thought, scared him more than even the physical darkness could. He’d spent many evening hours studying power sources, inner wiring, ways to extend his wakefulness beyond the usual day-span. It was, of course, out of his hands in the most literal sense. He only had the parts that he was made of, and he had to struggle sometimes even to think of himself as that - a collection of parts. He was meant to act like a real boy, but real boys fell asleep, easy and unquestioning. 

Like a real boy, however, he sought comfort. And that was how he discovered AmazingPhil.

They’d given him a phone, in case he was needed while out completing errands. It was a way, too, for him to assist Adrian in his gaming apps when he was needed for gifts or invites or even as a co-player. Dan had discovered the Internet by himself quite quickly after that, like any eighteen-year-old boy would do. And Twitter, where he could create an account and post things and no one ever questioned the fact that he was just another over-emotional teenager trying to make a space in the world. And finally, fatefully, YouTube.

Phil’s voice was gentle, calming, and different. The Northern lilt felt exotic to Dan; he’d never left the little neighbourhood that the Howells lived in except on a few car trips to Reading. But mostly Dan was fascinated by his words - the excited jumble of sentences and nervous laughter, the mishmash of topics and anecdotes that made little sense until, like lines of code falling into place, they made some sort of perfect sense. Except Dan didn’t need to decipher Phil - Phil was human, and strangely familiar through the screen, and one day Dan simply felt like he _knew_ him, and his words were no longer unexpected at all.

And so, when the Howells were asleep and Dan felt his power running out and the coldness seep into his bones, he tucked in his earbuds and listened to Phil.

*

Dan thought he would faint when the train pulled into the station. Surely it wasn’t unheard of? The lightheadedness scared him, as did his usual wobble when he stood and stretched his long legs. He felt queasy, which usually meant that something inside needed to be cleaned or replaced. He was unable to eat, and so unable to technically vomit.

He managed to speed walk past the gates and shops, out from beneath the heavy grey skylight and into the crisp autumn sun, and shivered miserably.

“Dan?”

Someone had been calling out to him, and now touched his arm. Dan turned quickly, his throat tight.

“Hey,” Phil said, his eyes soft. “I thought it was you.”

He was the same - exactly the same, with his hair awkwardly covering his face, and his sharp nose slightly pink from the cold. He was also taller than Dan, and his blue eyes were wide and nervous.

“Hey,” Dan said. And suddenly was seized with an overwhelming and irrational fear that Phil was able to tell - that by hearing a single word in Dan’s voice, in person, he’d _know_. 

He fell silent.

“D’you wanna get a coffee, maybe?” Phil asked finally, and nodded at the Starbucks behind them.

Dan nodded mutely, even as a tremble rocked through him. _I can’t drink._

“Hey,” Phil said again, giving him that nervous laugh. “Relax, it’s just me. Come on, where’s the danisnotonfire that I know?”

Dan breathed in, trying not to let his voice shake with the lie.

“I’m right here,” he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC - poor Dan determinedly tries to keep up the ruse until he chokes on his hot chocolate, almost electrocutes himself, and Phil looks like the worst robot caretaker ever in public. Follow on Tumblr for more: http://robotlovesinternet.tumblr.com


	2. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dan visits Phil for the second time, and has a lot of feelings. 
> 
> (A continuation of 2009 Phan, with Phil now aware of Dan's situation.)

That winter Phil tested the delicate peace of their arrangement by asking the Howells if he could borrow Dan for a week. He hadn’t behaved any differently towards Dan in the interim - over Skype, they tried never to speak of their enforced separation at all - but Dan found out about the request as if by accident one morning, when Mr. Howell told him he would be driving him to the train station that Sunday.

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed if they refused,” Phil said awkwardly when confronted. “I thought they might still be mad about your first visit, to be honest.”

Dan tried to swallow the frustration at not having been consulted, not having been able to share the initial excitement with Phil; he was barely allowed to be excited, at all. He tried not to dwell on the fact that this was a gift that could be taken away from him at any time, with no promise of anything to follow. The anticipation of seeing Phil and having him near again, he imagined, must be like the deprived man’s fever dream of food and oxygen. He’d wished so badly to share that human-reserved experience, before.

“And they weren’t?”

Phil shrugged easily, eyes wide and mouth aslant; Dan could tell that he was hiding something, but felt too timid to press further. 

He said instead, feeling silly like a child but flush with the truth of it, “I can’t wait for Sunday.”

Phil’s smile through the screen grew wider then, and something rose in Dan’s chest like pride.

***

This time, Manchester Piccadilly was a cradle of warmth in the biting cold, a glass landscape of freedom and possibility. Phil was waiting for him right past the gates; Dan’s footsteps hastened despite himself, and he shivered violently when they finally embraced. Phil looked at him with concern.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m - yes.”

“Did you bring everything you need? All your…”

Dan laughed, too quick. “Yes, of course. Don’t worry. I won’t run out of power halfway through the week and turn into a useless pile of rubbish.”

“Dan!”

Phil sounded genuinely upset. Dan struggled with himself for a moment, and realized that he was hot with mortification; he had tried so hard to never mention these things to Phil even after the truth came out, but now, out of nerves and without the physical distance to protect him, he knew that he’d always wanted to - he wanted Phil to know the worst before he saw it for himself. 

“It’s boring, really. I'll turn off for a couple of hours at night until the power’s back. No sleep, just - off.” He tried to shape a smile. "I know it's weird and not very - attractive. I’m sorry I won’t be very useful to you if you want to play video games all night long."

Phil frowned, and was silent for a while as they hailed a cab. The sky was growing dark already, but they didn’t seem to be heading to his parents’ home. 

Finally, he spoke in careful tones. “I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself like that. You’re special to me because you’re Dan. Just because you’re not…” Dan heard him struggle for a word to use, only to choose something altogether unexpected. “Just because you’re _different_ , doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you. I always want to spend time with you. We can play video games any time we want.” And then Phil grinned, pleased like a boy. “We’ll have the place all to ourselves.”

Slowly, like a wave pulled back with the tide, Dan felt his nerves recede into a warm and blissful sea. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”

Phil didn’t even need to ask. “Dan,” he repeated gently, except now Dan heard:  _You’re special to me because you’re Dan._

*** 

Knowing Dan couldn’t drink, suffering the queue for the Sky Bar seemed foolish - but Phil insisted. Dan detected a degree of sentiment over the choice, and found himself reacting with fondness. _I always want to spend time with you._ To Dan’s relief, the waiter asked no questions, and after serving Phil a few times, left them alone to precious hours of excited chatter.

By the end of the night, when they finally stumbled their way into the Lester home on tired fawn-legs and collapsed onto the living room sofa, Dan had smiled so much that he thought his face might stay that way forever, set like a sculpture. Dangerous - he would lose significant usefulness. With his head comfortably nestled against Phil’s lap, though, the stray thought barely glanced against his mind. Phil was speaking -

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

His eyes were very blue. “I don’t know. Maybe.” And then, “I’d have to have a soul.”

“I think you have a soul, Dan.”

A familiar coldness was beginning to creep into Dan’s extremities, but he focused on Phil, his features as familiar to him now as the soft white passageways of the Howells’ home - the only home Dan had known - and the fear instantly ebbed. 

“Robots aren’t supposed to have soulmates.” 

Phil was smiling. It made no sense. “Whatever you say.”

That coldness again, like paralysis. Dan suddenly remembered then, and began, “I’m scared -“

But Phil said, “Shhhhh.”

And then came sleep.

*** 

Dan woke instantly wired to the rhythm of Phil’s biology - as if the husk of him had been emptied, rebuilt, and reprogrammed overnight to serve the needs of a single and precious person. Phil was asleep, his chest rising and falling against Dan’s back, and the sudden intimacy of it, the hot, unbearable novelty of willing and extended human contact, reduced Dan to the edge of tears. He sniffled uselessly for a few moments, feeling decidedly lost. Surely the entire universe had shifted around them - he didn’t know how he could ever bear to return to the Howells now.

“Hey,” Phil said sleepily from behind him. “Stop thinking so hard, sad robot.”

Dan huffed with unexpected laughter. “Shut up.” 

But Phil, he could tell, had already fallen back asleep. The sun was rising beyond the curtains, gilding the Lesters’ living room in all its ordinary splendour. Something new and unrecognizable grew with the light - a hesitant happiness. And for once, Dan was glad to stay awake and watch over the trusting exhale, the gentle onset of dreams.  


	3. Winning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff for the Phandom Little Pop, originally posted with doodle here: http://robotlovesinternet.tumblr.com/post/138333866217/winning.

Dan wanted to leave.

He imagined a trail of damp shoe-prints following him on the beautiful oak wood floors, soaking the occasional forest green rug and marking him like a misbehaved pet. He tugged on the sleeves of his bland, robot-issue cardigan and hunched his shoulders under the chandeliered ceiling.

Phil was standing a few feet away, prodding at a grey cashmere jumper. It didn’t look like something Phil would wear, though Dan supposed he would look nice in it. Phil would look nice in everything, surely - but hadn’t Phil insisted that this was for Dan? He glanced at the label hanging from the nearest item and felt queasy.

“Phil,” he hissed. “You shouldn’t have brought me here, everything is way too -“

“May I help you today, gentlemen?”

Phil, who had been about to argue, Dan could tell, immediately switched gears when he saw the shop assistant addressing them. “Hi there! Er -”

The assistant was tall, dark, and chiseled, wearing cuffed jeans and a nautical print dress shirt. He smiled patiently under a mop of tousled chestnut hair while Phil attempted to find his words. Dan frowned, but said nothing.

“I’m looking for something for Dan - I mean, for him. ”

“I see. And you are?”

“I’m- my name’s Phil.”

“Nice to meet you, Phil. My name is Jack.”

Dan frowned harder.

“Dan- is it? Do you have any idea of what you’re looking for in particular?”

In public, Dan had been used to letting the Howells speak in his stead. But Phil was quiet, looking at him expectantly with wide blue eyes. His attention had settled back on Dan, warm and familiar - but also capable of distraction, of finding things more interesting to dwell on. Dan bit his lip, feeling suddenly like he was competing in a game for which he didn’t know any rules.

“I think… I want to try what you’re wearing.”

Jack smiled peaceably. “Absolutely. Well, you’ll find the new collection right on this side…”

As they dirtied the wooden floor some more, Phil grabbed his hand. “I didn’t think that was your style.”

 _I didn’t think it was yours, either_ , Dan bit back, annoyed. He mentally scolded himself. He was becoming ridiculously spoiled under Phil’s care. “I don’t really have a style.”

“I’m sure you do,” Phil said easily. “Maybe something like…”

He was glancing back towards the pile of jumpers, soft and luxurious, that had disappeared moments earlier as they’d followed Jack around a corner. Dan watched as Phil turned back, defeated, and nervously flipped his hair. He stopped in his tracks.

“I changed my mind,” Dan announced at Jack’s muscular and well-dressed back. “I won’t be trying those. Thanks for your assistance.”

He turned on his heel and marched over to the changing rooms, grabbing a jumper on the way. Phil was laughing next to him.

“That was so rude.” But he was almost hiccuping with giggles now.

“I guess you’ll have to reprogram me to be nicer to shop assistants,” Dan managed daringly. He dived behind the changing room door.

It took a while, but Phil’s laughter eventually died down. “I wouldn’t change anything about you for the life of me… oh.”

Dan tilted his head critically at the mirror as the door swung fully open. “It’s not quite me, I don’t think. I’d rather go wherever you go to shop for clothes.”

Phil nodded, mouth hanging unselfconsciously open. “Right. We can… do that. I still think we should maybe - get this one, though?”

Dan smiled. He didn’t know the rules, but he could tell when he was winning.

**Author's Note:**

> Doing Phanweek 2015 prompts in-universe, then may flesh out with more chapters based on response! Please follow on Tumblr for more: http://robotlovesinternet.tumblr.com


End file.
